Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 10, Episode 7
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the seventh episode of the tenth series. Key * HD - Hugh Dennis * CA - Chris Addison * SF - Stewart Francis * AP - Andy Parsons * NC - Nathan Caton * MF - Micky Flanagan Topics Unlikely Lines From Children's Books HD - "Yes, it is sad. I used to be on Top Gear," said Stig of the Dump. SF - Jack, do you have any more of those beans? CA - A Stringfellow, what's a Stringfellow? A Stringfellow, why, didn't you know? It has tanned leather skin, and a massive libido, and bad 80's hair, and a grin like a paedo. AP - This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home, and this little piggy went (coughs) and died horribly of swine flu. NC - Let's learn the alphabet. "A" is for "adopted", like you. "B" is for "basmati". MF - And as Eeyore put the noose around his neck... HD - "No, I don't think you should shave, Bilbo," said Frodo. "Those feet need waxing." NC - "Yes, yes Grandma, what a big TV screen you got," said Little Red Riding Hoodie. AP - "Who's been sleeping in my bed?" said Daddy Bear. "Well," said Mummy Bear, "It's been your brother Ryan, and he's a much better shag than you are." HD - "I want to go to Tottenham," said Max. "That's where the wild things are." AP - The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, or as we like to call them, the Sugababes. SF - Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a handsome young prince named Dara. CA - Wheeeeeeere's Gaddafi? HD - The Railway Children gesticulated wildly at the driver. "You've left us behind you wanker!" AP - "Oh dear," said Postman Pat. "I've just had sex with my cat Jess. I should've gone to Specsavers!" MF - And so Emily learned that if she had just been a nicer little girl, Mummy and Daddy would never have got divorced. CA - "Do you know what?", said the Very Hungry Caterpillar, "This gastric band has changed my life." Unlikely Things For A Sports Commentator To Say SF - And there's just yet another Grand Slam victory for Andy Murray. NC - And now we come to the javelin. If you're watching in 3D, you might want to look away now. MF - And here we are at the women's football, but whilst we're enjoying the game, please spare a thought for the men at home who are going without dinner this evening. HD - Well, he's stroked that through the covers. Surely it would've been easier just to pull back the duvet. MF - And here at the British Grand Prix, we've already had a couple of fatalities. Yes, two of the crowd have died of boredom. AP - Lewis Hamilton is three seconds ahead, but there's trouble at turn 17 as Dastardly and Muttley have dug a pit. NC - I'm here at the Green Court Bowls, and I've started cutting myself. CA - He got the right hook in! He's got the left hook in! And he's finally finished putting up those curtains! HD - Well, welcome back after the break. You haven't missed much, just the entire Indian innings. SF - Now let's go back to Henley where Clare Balding is standing with two cocks. CA - There's Rio Ferdinand, WHAT A TACKLE! But enough from me, I really should let these lads continue getting changed. AP - Alex Ferguson has substituted Wayne Rooney. Of course, not the first time Rooney has been pulled of by a 69-year old... HD - Well, what a result. The UK's Somalian has beaten America's Kenyan to show that the Africans aren't going to have it all their own way. MF - Thanks for all those fantastic statistics there, Motty. Now go and get a fucking life. Category:Scenes We'd Like To See